As a result, at least 1,000 couples have retracted divorce applications in the area.
A 57-year-old woman, surnamed Liang, was hired as a counsellor after retiring from a kindergarten where she had worked for more than 30 years.
She said half the cases she handled involved husbands committing adultery and wives making the divorce application. She admitted she would often try to dissuade the women from continuing with their application.
However, the mediator said she did not have the same approach if the situation was reversed.
If a wife was having an affair and her husband wanted to end the marriage, Liang said she would not “work as hard to stop them”.
When the wives said they were unwilling to accept their husbands’ adultery, Liang would say things such as: “Look, TV drama series often show this kind of behaviour. In today’s society, if a man doesn’t have an affair, it implies he lacks charm.
“A man can easily find another woman after a divorce, but it’s different for a woman. If you’re a divorced woman with a child, what can you do?” Liang added.
The mediator told of a recent case in which a woman in her 30s discovered her husband had been cheating on her after she saw his WeChat conversations. When she confronted him, he confessed he had a mistress.
“The wife was distraught and emotional. But after her emotions stabilised, I began to convince her to focus on her kid,” Liang said.
With her vast experience of working as a kindergarten principal, Liang said she had seen how negatively affected children could be by divorce. She had used examples of these effects to persuade the wife.
“I told her that children are a mother’s weakness as women usually prioritise children,” Liang said.
She sometimes also revealed her own experience to wives she was counselling.
Liang would tell them how her husband had an affair when their son was at secondary school, but she continued to live with him for decades afterwards “for the benefit of my kid”.
The mediator concluded by saying: “It’s impossible not to have any problems in our lives. In this era with plenty of online temptation, it’s uncommon for a man not to cheat.”
Her old-fashioned opinions about marriage sparked criticism across mainland social media.
“This mediator’s views are toxic,” said one online observer.
“I’m speechless. Why are children a mother’s weakness and not a father’s? Why should the mother prioritise her child, and the father not do that?” another asked.
“The best atmosphere in a family for a kid is a good relationship between his parents. If a couple cannot get along well, they should divorce and give their kid a peaceful environment,” said a third.
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